Has your spouse, babysitter or other child care provider ever called you to come home “because the baby is crying”? It seems that technology, which is readily at our finger tips 24/7, has created yet another dilemma - what to do if a baby is crying?
Pre-cell phone days, there really was not much to do if you the parent left home and your baby/child started crying. Outside of calling the restaurant, store, movie theater (directly), and asking them to page a parent, most of us just muddled through a crying child. I also think that in most cases, said child eventually stopped crying (unless there was an obvious reason that could be “fixed”) and by the time you the parent returned home, all was typically well.
But now, with a cell phone in every hand, it only takes one call to summon the parent of a crying child. I think this is a good news/bad news dilemma. The good news is: parents may feel more comfortable leaving their child with a babysitter, knowing that they may be reached in the event of an emergency. The bad news is: is a baby or child who is only crying, typically an emergency? Depends on your definition.
The reason I bring this up is that I often hear young parents, and especially mothers, tell me that during the first several months of their infant’s life, they cannot leave the house for more than minutes, before being called home....because the baby is crying. Some of these mothers are really “stressed out and exhausted” and need a bit of a get-away to “re-boot”. I am not talking about a trip to the day spa. I am simply talking about an hour or 2 to go to the store or meet a friend for lunch or just sit alone in the park and read a book. Just a bit of quiet after being home with a baby day in and day out for the first 4 weeks of their newborn’s life. If you have been there you understand.
But, now that they have a cell phone, there is CONSTANT communication. The minute the baby cries, the cell phone rings....”the baby is CRYING, come home.” My husband would tell you that his best parenting started the first time I left him alone with our first son and I actually went away for the weekend. (I believe the baby was 6 or 7 weeks old and off I went breast pump in hand to a reunion.) No cell phones then, and guess what, he did a great job!!!! He told me how after the first 24 hours he figured out that he really didn’t have to have the baby in the bathroom with him in order to take a shower. He later told me that the first shower he took, not only was our son in the room in his “bouncy” chair, but he left the shower door open as the door got steamy and he couldn’t see the baby!! How cute is that.
Technology, as wonderful as it is, may also enable us to “cop out” when things get a bit difficult. That goes for parenting as well.
Turnoff your phone off sometime and let the “other parent” or babysitter handle it for awhile. Being disconnected is NOT always a bad thing!